About Me

My photo
I am a wife, mother, and step-mom. I am not perfect, but try my best to reduce damage control. I have incredible family and friends that encourage us on this adventure. My mom always told me that motherhood isnt for whimps... and I couldn't agree more!

Friday, August 26, 2011

Building a Vision

Daddy Shopping: My Series For Solo-Moms Regarding Dating

In my last post I discussed the importance of dating with vision. I promised a list of questions to help provoke thought and build vision... here they are! (Feel free to add more if you have them!! I am still building my vision, so I can use the input as well!!)

  • Dont ask for a Prince Charming unless you are prepared to be a Fairytale Princess!!!
    • You can only demand as much perfection as you have... nonetheless DONT SELL YOURSELF SHORT because you have weaknesses and failures!!
  • Know yourself!! 
    • What are your strengths?
    • What are your weaknesses?
    • What inspires you?
    • What impassions you?
    • What do you want to change about yourself?
    • What do you love about yourself?
  • The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Therefore we have to reflect on each past relationships and determine what worked and what didnt.
    • Where did you meet?
    • How long after dating did you tell him you loved him?
    • Did you plan on changing him?
    • How clear was your "love sight"? Were you in love with your portrayal of him or with who he was in reality?
    • How did your relationship end? What role did responsibility did you hold?
  • What role do you want your partner to have in raising your child? Discipline? Physical, Emotional, and Spiritual support and influence?
  • How do you picture your life in 5, 10, 20, 50 years?
    • Married?
    • Working?
    • More Children?
    • Own a house?
    • Traveling?

    These are just thought provoking questions. Please feel free to add your own... because I am in the same boat trying to find a good match and make choices that will bear successful results!


    Wednesday, August 3, 2011

    Daddy shopping: Start Shopping with Vision

    My series for solo-moms regarding dating.

    I wish had a nickle for every time I went to the grocery store without a list and ended up with so much more than I was shopping for- I'd still be poor because most of those eye-catching impulse buys cost more than 5 cents! The point is that I start off going to the store with a vision of what I am looking for- and I end up distracted leaving with something I never intended on buying.

    Heres the deal: Solo Moms dont really have the luxury of dating for fun. We have our child(ren) 100% of the time, and the other parent is no longer in the picture. We are working to support our little ones, and with our time off we are spending it enjoying the snot out of them! I know, I have a lot of guilt if I get a sitter for any reason not work related!! Seriously, get a sitter so I can go out on a date... I dont have the time or energy to invest in blindly feeling out Mr. Right from all the Mr. Right-Nows. Also, for most Solo Moms I know, falling in love is a calculated choice... rarely can we be sweet talked and wooed with flowers. So, lets harness this newly found power, and focus it into a vision of what we are looking for!

    10 Reasons why you should start dating with a vision:
    1. You give your dating a purpose.
    2. You (and more importantly your little one) wont have your heart involved with someone that shouldnt be a part of your forever future.
    3. Solo moms dont have time to waste dating Mr. Right-Nows- this will help you avoid squander your valued time resulting in an unproductive outcome.
    4. You are able to teach your child an important lesson: never compromise, value yourself, and expect  and only accept the best.
    5. You get to embrace your freedom and freely enjoy your time alone with your child(ren).
    6. You have a chance to avoid the pitfalls and mistakes made before.
    7. It isnt just about you anymore- you have the hearts of your children that may become invested and attached... as mothers we will do just about anything to protect our babies! Dating shouldnt be any different.
    8. Make dating a life lesson for your child by showing your child with your actions that you value yourself and them.
    9. Creating a vision will help you choose wisely this time around.
    10. Finding the man that fits that vision will help you to eliminate insecurities that can cause doubt.

    Next post: Questions to provoke visionary thoughts of Mr. Right!